kinda kills me when people i thought i respected/looked up to/loved/enjoyed are wrong wrong wrong
"I know it is very hard to accept a love without conditions, but I know it exists: that He loved me when I was useless to him."
I already feel sick again which is the hugest bummer in the world because I JUST was sick, the week before last. And I’ve only been here like 3 weeks and it’s definitely not time for my SECOND illness.
Today I pledged Alpha Phi Omega and I’m very excited. Except I did the cool/embarrassing thing of emailing the pledge eds the best question and then they have to like call me out for being so on top of things, which is like, I don’t know. Also she spelled my name wrong. Which I am getting better about (like, I am getting better at not being bothered by it)… but it still makes me feel very weird.
What an odd weekend. I did all kinds of productive and anxiety-inducing (although very worth it) things, and pretty much no easy-fun things. Which is saddening because now I have to do another week of classes and I don’t really feel like I had a break.
This week is going to be academically challenging for me, which is very nerve-wracking. Because I have definitely fallen short of my expectations in the past, academically. And it’s hard and disappointing, because I know I can do better. I am really aiming to do better, this semester. I don’t want to fall behind like I so often do.
I feel like I am gaining weight again. I also feel like I am going to get my period very soon because I am getting emotional and very short with people. I miss my mom and I am almost broke.
But there are also so many great things happening for me and I am so glad about that. Myself and my life have been improved in so many ways by the events of these past few months. I am so proud of myself for trying new things and getting involved at school. I am so happy that I can talk to people in a somewhat normal way, and it doesn’t make me feel too nervous or sad. I am very glad to be living on my own, dictating my own schedule, even though sometimes my own life seems like too much to handle. Everything is contradicting! I am stressed, but happy! Tired, but doing great things! Way emotional right now, but overall much healthier than I have been in the past! Man, this is exhausting! I’m going to bed.
(NyQuil or no?)
i just love deers
like i really really love deers